At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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