I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
