i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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