So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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