That's intense
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
