finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
