i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize