I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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