you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
