someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
