Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There's always time for handjobs
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
