3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
