I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
