I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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