I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
