so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
