just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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