Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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