i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
