i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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