I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
