Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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