By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
