Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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