Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize