all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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