yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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