I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
