I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
