he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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