I want to stick my p in your. b.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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