This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dick very happy bro
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
