In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
