Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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