Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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