the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
