I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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