Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
