I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
