I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize