2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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