I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
