I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
