That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
