he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
