So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Your penis caused this!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
