if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
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I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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