...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
