i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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