Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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