Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
