he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
