is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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