Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
