You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
