i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
