I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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