Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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