ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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