Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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