The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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